Show some respect!
Respect is often demanded of young people. But do the adults doing the demanding respect teenagers? Especially in institutional settings, adults often assume that teenagers will be uncooperative and disruptive. This unchecked bias sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy and a downward spiral of intergenerational confusion and hostility.
Who really knows best?
Much of this stems from the fact that we’ve all been young once. Our societies in the global North are not built for children and youth, who are, demographically and culturally, a minority group (1). But unlike almost all other minority groups, the people in the majority have been in this category themselves once. So we carry with us the idea that we “know better.” But whatever we experienced in our childhoods is not comparable to what individual young people are experiencing today. Everyone’s lived reality is unique, which means only the individual child or adolescent can be the true expert of their own life.
Children are our future, but they’re also here right now
In our Western world, we follow a narrative that children are under-formed, underdeveloped and immature. We see them as “becomings” rather than “beings,” or full subjects of rights in the present (2). This future-framing often prevents us from seeing - and respecting - the feelings, needs and preferences of a child at the current moment. Shifting focus away from, “when you’re older” and towards kids’ present conditions supports emotional wellbeing - now and later.
Adultism: a little-known, but real form of discrimination
There is an inherent power imbalance between children and adults because children are dependent on adults until they have the means to make decisions for themselves and determine their own trajectories (3). Children are made to reside in their homes and visit the institutions they are sent to without much say in the matter. This inherently leads to a feeling of powerlessness that in many environments is regularly reproduced by the adults in it - through rules that are usually made and enforced by the adults alone. If a child experiences trauma, this feeling of powerlessness is amplified.
Youth participation as a remedy
Counteracting the phenomena described above therefore lies in giving young people power to partake in decisions that affect their lives. This often requires adults giving up or sharing some of their power. Can young people participate in the forming and maintaining of the rules and consequences they are expected to adhere to? What other structures they are placed in can be opened up to them so that they might be able to shape and adapt them, rather than forcing themselves into molds they don’t necessarily fit into? Most humans - regardless of age - are cooperative by nature. If those in power, however, assert their power over young people with force, they elicit resistance. If one feels they do not have any agency in their lives, they fall into a state of learned helplessness.
There can be no youth empowerment without adults sharing privilege
Creating as many opportunities for them to exercise agency - by building in choice and consent wherever possible, for even the youngest among us - fosters confidence and wellbeing (4). Working this way creates a positive feedback loop where respect begets respect. This approach requires courage and humility from adults. It requires us to get out of our own way and to reflect on our often convoluted thoughts, feelings, and behaviors surrounding control and unhealthy patterns leftover from our own childhoods.
Participation = self-protection
In the field of children’s rights and contemporary childhood studies, the additional rights people under 18 are entitled to are roughly divided into three categories - “the three P’s” - Protection, Provision, and Participation. Most people tend to prioritize them in that order, but participation, as described above, amounts to self-protection. If a child is able to make decisions for themselves - if conditions by the adults around them are consciously created to promote their independence and self-determination - they will typically advocate for themselves better and be less vulnerable to potential threats around them.
Theory put into practice
My work with adults focuses on creating more space for young people to act and be. We examine through intellect and through personal reflection how we can become aware of these automatic attitudes towards and reactions to young people. By changing fundamentally how we view young people and their position in society, we are able to change our approach, allowing our power to be softer, more intentional and less constricting.
My work with young people focuses on being aware of their rights and how to exercise them. Creative expression interventions, in the form of play, art, dance, theater, singing, comedy, writing, etc., are excellent ways to help children and youth experience the agency and self-efficacy that accompanies getting to know themselves better and producing something or affecting the space and the people around them with their unique creative output.
Activities and environments free from grades, judgment and strict definitions of what is “correct” can be healing and strengthen a sense of self and of possibility. For children who are neurodivergent, who have been exposed to traumatic events, who deal with language barriers or challenges around behavior, these interventions can be especially important and effective.
Fun as resistance
I am passionate about offering low-threshold, easily accessible psychosocial support. For a variety of reasons ranging from financial to cultural, many (young) people who could benefit greatly from therapy won’t receive it. Events that occur regularly, facilitated by caring and supportive adults, in which participants are able to influence the program and how the space is run have the potential to offer many of the same advantages of therapy. In 25 years of experience working with young people, I have accrued valuable insights into how to conceptualize, implement and maintain this kind of nurturing programming to promote community ties and mental health. My experience in this arena in contexts such as emergency shelters for refugees, temporary residential communities for refugees and migrants, and in underserved neighborhoods has taught me that fun is a form of resistance and that joy can exist alongside hardship and instability.
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(1) Liebel, M. (2014). Adultism and age-based discrimination against children. In D. Kustar & H. Warming (Eds.), Children and non-discrimination: Interdisciplinary textbook. University of Estonia: CREAN: 119-143.
(2) Qvortrup, J. (1985). Placing children in the division of labor. In P. Close and R. Collins (Eds.), Family and economy in modern society. Basingstoke and London: Macmillian: 129-145.
(3) James, A. & James, A. (2008). Key Concepts in Childhood Studies. London: Sage.
(4) Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84: 191- 215.